Coparenting plans

Parenting plans help parents remove the frictions, so that they can be loving and responsible parents to their children even though they may feel very angry at each other.
Setting up a joint parenting plan is not just for those divorced parents who get along well, or who want to share equally in all responsibilities. In fact, it might be even more helpful when there is conflict between parents. Clearly spelling out  each parent's responsibilities minimizes the need to argue about them time and again.

To resolve conflicts, you need to set up structures that will allow your ex and you to continue to both be parents to your children, even though you will no longer be living together - you may even have very little contact with each other. There is a whole range of shared parenting arrangements - from co-parenting (where parents are frequently in contact, to share information or make plans)... to parallel parenting (where parents are each on a separate track).

You create these structures by negotiating a parenting plan with your ex. This makes it clear which responsibilities are shared, how parenting time is shared, who does what, and what degree of involvement you expect to have with each other.

See also: divorce with integrity