What happens at marriage counseling: Working through relationship problems

What happens in a conflict? You want one thing, and your partner wants something else. You see things one way, and your partner sees things another way. So, when you try to "deal with the issues", you end up getting more and more entrenched in your respective positions.

Each of you feels that the other is wrong... and both of you feel really stuck!

A more proactive approach is to look at the dynamics underlying the conflict. Of course, I do not mean that the issues are irrelevant. I am saying that just focusing on the issues obscures some deeper undercurrents. Dealing with these undercurrents will make it much easier to deal with the issues themselves.

When you come see me, it's not to rehash the same old fights, it is to find a way out of the "same old" patterns. I coach you to better understand each other... To face challenges together, as opposed to fighting against each other.

Relationship coaching strengthens your listening skills as well as your conflict-resolution skills. So it is not just a way to solve the problems you are experiencing right now. It is also a way to strengthen your ability to deal with future problems in your relationship.

- Audio recording: Couples communication

- Question: What if my partner refuses to have couple counseling?

Couple Communication Exercises

Audio:
Relationship skills