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In codependent relationships, the partners have difficulty being themselves
while being in the relationship.
There is a difference between interdependency and codependency.
In any relationship, people are mutually dependent. They experience
a conflict between being themselves and being part of a couple. In a
healthy relationship, this can be dealt with openly; as a result, both
partners can progressively feel more secure in the relationship, more
intimate at the same time as they grow as individuals.
With codependency, these issues are more difficult to deal with. Often,
they are simply swept under the rug. Or they're dealt with in an atmosphere
poisoned by accusations of selfishness. Or one partner finds a way to
intimidate the other… As a result, there is a growing backlog of
resentment between the spouses.
Life would be easier if your partner would "see the light",
and be willing to change. Unfortunately, this is something you have
very little power over, if any at all.
The power you have is over what you can do, from your end, to
deal with co-dependency.
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