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When you consult a lawyer or mediator, you'll probably be asking
what the outcome of your case will be. It is understandable: so much
is at stake, and this is a process you don't know much about. So you
want to get some idea of what is going to happen.
Divorce professionals can often give you a rough idea of what to expect
- some kind of a range of what the possible outcomes may be. But they
cannot tell you with certainty what the actual outcome of the divorce
will be.
So don't just use the initial consultation you have with a lawyer to
try to predict the future - or to argue your case as if the lawyer were
the judge...
The initial consultation is a good opportunity for you to explore the
way the lawyer works. You need somebody who will be a strong advocate
for your interests... but will do so in a constructive way as opposed
to a destructive way. For instance, is this a lawyer who is going to
strive to achieve a negotiated solution even when it is difficult? Or,
on the other end of the spectrum, is this a lawyer who believes in scorched
earth tactics - throwing mud on the other party in order to "win"
at all costs?
Who you choose to represent you makes a difference, in escalating the
conflict, or finding ways to contain it. Of course, the process doesn't
just depend on you: you have very little power over how rationally
your ex behaves, or how constructive your ex's attorney is. But you
can choose to make it worse... or to make it as little destructive as
it can be given the circumstances.
This site features a list of professionals - including lawyers. This
listing is reserved to professionals who pledge to help their clients
achieve a humane and responsible divorce.
What does this phrase mean to you? We give some guidelines about
it in "what is the responsible
divorce".
We suggest you discuss with the lawyers you consult what "responsible
divorce" means to you, and to them.
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