Staying stuck can be OK... for a while

Many people struggle with questions such as: How to handle relationships?.. Or: How to deal with work issues?..  Or: Why am I not doing what I really want to do with my life?.. Or: how can I be more myself?

There is a sense of urgency to these issues... and yet: time goes on, and they remain unsolved. And you feel stuck.

Feeling stuck, in turn, presents a new set of worries: Are you going about this the wrong way? Are you wrong to try to resolve these issues on your own?

This article presents a perspective on the benefits of staying “stuck” and the benefits of seeking outside help.

Yes, you did not read wrong, I believe there can be benefits in staying “stuck”… provided you don’t stay stuck too long, or in a harmful way.

How do you know when enough is enough?

I suggest you look back, and ask yourself:
- How long have I been feeling stuck?
- How long have I actually been stuck? Is it a few days… weeks… months…?

Sometimes, people feel we’ve been stuck a long time when, in fact, it hasn’t been that long. Maybe it’s just been a few days, even though it’s been feeling like forever.

If this is the case:,
- Visualize a moment, a few days ago, when you were not feeling stuck.
- Now, ask yourself: What happened between then and now?

Maybe, you’ll discover that the reason you’ve been feeling overwhelmed is something relatively simple... something that just happened a few days ago. Once you put your attention to it, and deal with it, everything’s fine again.

Now, let’s assume that you’ve been feeling stuck for more than a few days. Is that really bad? Not necessarily. Sometimes, feeling stuck or feeling down is the way our mind-body tells us we need some rest. Consciously paying attention to this need is a way of being in touch with ourselves.

So what if you are less productive, less efficient, for a little while?
Ask yourself: Do I really need to be very productive right now, or is this a needless pressure I am imposing on myself?
Ask yourself: What would happen if I continued being stuck longer… say, a few days more? What if it were a few weeks more?

Sometimes, letting go of the relentless pressure we put on ourselves, giving ourselves a break, is what we really need to get unstuck.

Now, what if you believe this feeling stuck has been going too long for you? Then, it’s a good idea to seek help.

Note that seeking help is not an all or nothing proposition.
Seeking help doesn’t mean you’re throwing in the towel. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up on yourself as a source of independence and strength. Actually, good help empowers you… so you are better able to take care of yourself. It is an active process.

See: How to get unstuck when you're feeling stuck